Who comes up with this garbage?

For one reason or another, I love to watch those baby shows on TLC and similar channels. I don't know why I continue watching them, since between the L&D stories (I swear, they have about a 90% c-section rate on those shows, usually for completely unnecessary reasons) and the totally bogus breastfeeding advice, I generally end up wanting to throw something at the television at least once per show. But I do.

The other day, there was a couple who brought their baby home to a house full of every electronic gadget and monitor and soother you can possibly imagine. They had the video baby monitor (which I actually think is kind of cool because I always wondered what Anna was doing in her crib while she was singing or talking to herself), the little sound machine to make nature/womb sounds, a little thingy to make the crib vibrate while the baby slept, etc. Most of the stuff was expensive and unnecessary, but hey, if they've got the money, I guess most of it could have been useful in some capacity.

Except the "Why Cry" monitor. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have come across yet another completely worthless (yet expensive! This sucker costs $170!) baby item.




The idea is that you hold this little doohickey up to your baby when he cries, and it tells you what's wrong. Uh-huh. Apparently, all babies have a specific pitch, volume, and pattern that indicates whether they are hungry, bored, tired, stressed, or annoyed (I notice there is no "wet/dirty" in there anywhere!).

Now, I have no doubt in my mind that some babies do come with distinct cries. I've heard rumors of these babies, and it usually takes their parents about 3 days to tell the difference between a "tired" cry and a "hungry" cry if the baby truly has different cries.

But then there are those babies who come with two settings: sleeping and SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. This was Anna. I promise you that no monitor in the entire world could have told the difference between "somewhat bored" and "someone's trying to KILL me, here!" There was no difference. EVERYTHING was a Big Hairy Deal when she was an infant. Dirty diaper? End of the world. Being put in the carseat? Major crisis. Wanted to be held? Screamed at a pitch that could shatter glass. Needed a change of scenery? Sounded like she was being murdered. It was total trial and error with her. But you know what? I think that it's actually an important part of parenting to actually get to know your baby and learn what they need. No machine is going to take the place of a parent's personal knowledge of his/her own child. I think it's a little bit pathetic that our society seems to have gotten so addicted to technology that parents no longer trust their ability to find out why their baby is crying.

This little gadget is clinically tested in Spain, Korea, and Mexico. My question is, what if your baby cries in English, French, or Chinese? Oh, and then there's this little gem: WhyCry® has been clinically tested in Europe, with a success rate of 98% when used in conjunction with the accompanying symptoms chart. So let me get this straight. After the machine gives you a reason for the cry, you still have to compare it to a symptoms chart to figure out why your baby is REALLY crying? And people pay $170 for this? Um....I'm speechless. I am now convinced that common sense officially no longer exists.